Alright, enough of that, this is my blog and I have started blogging A). to release stored up thoughts of mine, maybe to prevent me from going crazy B). every time I read a blog I get inspired to write one myself and C). blogging is cool! I am a terrible writer and have never been good at English, so forgive any of my mistakes or uncreative banter.
My life over the last few weeks has unravled right in front of me; although completely in my control, I feel as I am just on the outside looking in. Maybe I should start from the beginning, as people usually do for stories.....On May 22, 2012 I first layed eyes on the man of my dreams, literally he was beautiful. I'm talking 6'3", tall, dark and handsome...the whole bit. And so we talked. And he got my number. And I was a goner from that moment. It took a total of three weeks to fall in love and four to realize we wanted each other forever. Three months later he was down on one knee at the Mesa temple proposing on the same bench where my mother and grandmother were engaged. My life was perfect. All I have ever wanted since I can remember is to get married and be a mom and I know there is no other calling in life more important then just that.
So why, you may ask, is all of this talk in the past tense? It's because for reasons I do not know or understand right now, I broke off my engagement to my first love and sweetheart. I never imagined I would be in the position I am in right now. I dont think anyone gets engaged thinking, 'no big deal, this is going to end soon anyways.' I never would have imagined there would be something I would have to do that I didn't want to do so badly. This may all appear a bit confusing because anyone reading between the lines can clearly see I did not want to break off my engagement and I am still madly in love with a man I am not going to marry. But there is one thing in my life that I cannot deny, and that is the answers I receive from a loving father in heaven who knows what is best for me and what is best for the man I love so dearly.
I dont know what I am doing and unfortunately there is no hand book on 'How to End an Engagement' but I have the best support system a person can have in any tough situation. Recently in my journal I wrote, "I have never felt more alone or more loved in my entire life." I have the best family on the planet (no offense to your families) and friends who love me dearly. I dont know how I got so lucky or blessed to have this many loved ones close at hand, but I am sure grateful that I do.
As you can see I dont know a lot of things, but I DO know I am on this earth for a purpose and I am going to return to live with my Heavenly Father when it ends.
Until Next Time....
The simple understandings of Sarah in 'Life As I Know It'
My life over the last few weeks has unravled right in front of me; although completely in my control, I feel as I am just on the outside looking in. Maybe I should start from the beginning, as people usually do for stories.....On May 22, 2012 I first layed eyes on the man of my dreams, literally he was beautiful. I'm talking 6'3", tall, dark and handsome...the whole bit. And so we talked. And he got my number. And I was a goner from that moment. It took a total of three weeks to fall in love and four to realize we wanted each other forever. Three months later he was down on one knee at the Mesa temple proposing on the same bench where my mother and grandmother were engaged. My life was perfect. All I have ever wanted since I can remember is to get married and be a mom and I know there is no other calling in life more important then just that.
So why, you may ask, is all of this talk in the past tense? It's because for reasons I do not know or understand right now, I broke off my engagement to my first love and sweetheart. I never imagined I would be in the position I am in right now. I dont think anyone gets engaged thinking, 'no big deal, this is going to end soon anyways.' I never would have imagined there would be something I would have to do that I didn't want to do so badly. This may all appear a bit confusing because anyone reading between the lines can clearly see I did not want to break off my engagement and I am still madly in love with a man I am not going to marry. But there is one thing in my life that I cannot deny, and that is the answers I receive from a loving father in heaven who knows what is best for me and what is best for the man I love so dearly.
I dont know what I am doing and unfortunately there is no hand book on 'How to End an Engagement' but I have the best support system a person can have in any tough situation. Recently in my journal I wrote, "I have never felt more alone or more loved in my entire life." I have the best family on the planet (no offense to your families) and friends who love me dearly. I dont know how I got so lucky or blessed to have this many loved ones close at hand, but I am sure grateful that I do.
As you can see I dont know a lot of things, but I DO know I am on this earth for a purpose and I am going to return to live with my Heavenly Father when it ends.
Until Next Time....
The simple understandings of Sarah in 'Life As I Know It'
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